absent minded or just absent...

So it's been a tough winter.. I'm reluctant to say harder than any other BUT it's right up there.. I've decided I might have a touch of seasonal disorder but the jury is still out on that one...

I have been kind of blue lately, feeling overwhelmed and stressed but the sun shinning and the patches of grass and even MUD make me smile!!!

most people make goals in Jan.. I avoid it like the plague, I'm not good at resolutions I have a hard time keeping them JUST FOR THE SAKE of keeping them but it's when I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps that I decide to make short term goals..

here are some
* I'm going to get a job next fall.. although I have REALLY enjoyed not having the hussel and bussel of a job while the kids got situated in new schools, new house etc.. the checking acct REALLY missed it.. and all the plans I had to be more social and get out during the day with friends etc.. has been great but not enough to justify not doing it.. so resume is getting dusted off and I will be submitting to schools by end of this school year or summer at the latest... I'm pretty sure I could get on with the last school I was with which pays FAR more than what I'd make at our local school dist BUT the distance, conflicting vacation schedules and the fact that it would give me a toe in my children's former "world" is a drawback.. they have come a long way and I feel like if I were there it would hold them back from moving on...

* when my ankle is just a bit better I'm going to start walking... that's it.. I've said it so I have to do it right???!!! Ben has said he will walk with me and it's a start.. the GYM thing is a total flop.. as soon as we signed up I sprained my ankle and although that isn't the whole excuse it has proven to be just to much out of the way to make it there with any consistency so I'm cancelling it.. and we are probably going to try to save for a treadmill.. I shutter at the thought of finding a place for it in this house BUT I am committed to being more active, Ben has lost almost 50 pounds and is looking smokin and he is leaving me in his dust which is fine because it' not a competition BUT I need to get off my butt and get moving.. again the ankle is needing 2-3 weeks according to the Dr.. so I've got some time to formulate a plan of action.. and at the top of that plan is JUST DO IT!!!

*enjoy being a mother MORE.. I don't want to give you the impression that I don't enjoy my kids I DO more than anything else in the world BUT lately probably because of my blue attitude I have looked at it more like drudgery than opportunity or worse more than being FUN!!!... I really am in a REALLY fun phase of mothering, I haven't had to wipe a tush in well I can't even remember (that in it self is FANTASTIC) I have really fun kids, they all have their own distinct since of humor and they are all really GOOD!!! I have been way to caught up in the challenge of making them rise to their potential and I need to find a balance.. I need to be able to be the stickler on grades and chores and behavior BUT also be able to say DROP EVERYTHING WERE GOING TO THE MOVIES... I have gotten way to deep in the IF YOU"S.. meaning "IF YOU finish your chores we'll do xxx" or "IF YOU get all your school work in we'll xxx" or "IF YOU, IF YOU IF YOU".. and while it's a good motivator I need to be able to let that go SOMETIMES and just let the house be a mess and say hey we need to get out and do something FUN!!!.

** we interrupt this goal list for some parental bragging: Hunter and Brad are on track to complete BOTH of their individual Eagle Projects by the end of the year... isn't that FANTASTIC!!!*** so yea they are really good!!!

so those goals above are my top priority, I also need to do better at delegating, at home and in my church callings.. I tend to take on too much and then get burnt out and get frustrated and that also contributes to the blue attitude...

so there you have it... it's out there so I've got to hold to it right!
ta ta

here is what we were up to today.. it's very noisy and hard to understand whats going on.. Brad's team Robot is the blue one on the far right.. it says 1922 on the base and his team name is oz-ram so when you hear that they are talking about their robot..

enjoy!