I should start offering a reward

So I should start offering a reward for anyone who catches errors on my blog.. actually maybe for errors in my brain??? so no one caught it except BEN!!! We were actually married December 29th which made our Anniversary last tuesday.. not Sunday.. But as I explained to Ben it's been YEARS since we've been in the same state for our anniversary and he DID make dinner on Sunday so that was kinda celebratory so who cares he's been working like a dog this week with lots of weather and aweful work environment so I'll concider sunday the celebration... looks like our date night might have to wait as it is expected to snow through the whole weekend making my man have to work, work, work...
oh how I love that guy!!
so again happy Anniversary honey!!!
Oh yea and happy new year to all!!!
ta ta

MORE Musings

I know I've given the topic of "change of season" quite a run on this blog.. I've felt it for some time a "SHIFT" well ITS HAPPENING... I will no longer have ANY children at home during school hours!!! I will no longer be labeled a "stay at home mom"... OUCH that one hurt!!!

I think it's been given quite a run 13 years of wiping noses to tooshie's not that I'm going to never be doing those things ever again BUT my children (all of them!) will be influenced by someone else for the majority of their day from here on out! I can't help but wonder if I've done enough.. If I have have given them their own tools to deal with all that they will have to.. I don't have many regrets in that department at least not yet.. Brad will be entering 8th grade wow that doesn't even seem possible!!! Hunter 6th and KayLea 1st...

although I have to admit I'm also worried I'll be smothering KayLea having her Mom at the same school she goes to doesn't seem all together fair.. although I'm not in her class, I'm actually not even on her side of the school it IS a VERY small school so we WILL be seeing each other on a daily basis... she seems excited at the prospect but we'll see if she has the same attitude in a few weeks!!! does mommy guilt ever end?? I'm thinking not!!!

this is ALSO the time of year where we get a whole slew of new Law student families move into our ward, and it's also the time I'm reminded how OLD I am... these folks seem like infants to me.. and we have like 8 women who will be giving birth in the next 4-6 months... I have never for a moment felt ANY kind of regret for our decision to end our family with KayLea.. she is the PERFECT book end to our little brewd but it is ANOTHER reminder of this SHIFT although that one has long since past..

but for those who are still in the throws of it.. who can't seem to remember a time where you slept through the night or could complete a phone conversation or could go a week with out changing the sheets on your own bed because a kid smeared some sort of yuck on it.. enjoy it.. enjoy your now.. I think towards the end of this chapter I DID realize how special the moments were.. I could see the end coming fast so I did savor some of it.. but like allot of us.. I took too much time wanting to "get through" the hard stuff I remember practically MAKING Brad walk.. figuring all the stuff I did wrong with Brad and trying DESPERATELY to get Hunter to Talk early (and he DID!) and absolutely failing miserably at potty training KayLea.. and wanting so desperately for them all to become independent..

I LOVE this stage that I'm at now.... it is the FUNNEST by far so-far.. but feeling the breath of your own little infant who has just come out of you.. feeling the pride, joy and utter terrifying prospects of being in charge of this new little life.. Maybe, I wish I would have savored some of those moments a little more as they were coming.. rather than looking ahead to what was next.. and yes like everyone there were women who were older and wiser than I who told ME the same things.. but I didn't listen.. not that I didn't think they were right but I'm sure I was far too tired, or busy or pre-occupied with my kids' poop to really take them for their word..

But instead of looking BACK I will look forward (but not TOO far ahead!) and be present in THIS moment.. enjoy the milestones the kids are going through right NOW and the milestones I'M enjoying at this moment also..

that's all for now.. I'm going to bed.. and I'll sleep all night.. darn it!!! (who am I kidding that is AWESOME!)
ta ta

OK OK I know we aren't the FIRST

So summer is winding down.. although it doesn't seem too much like the END of summer here.. BUT it's the count down.. we start school the 31st.. Football starts a week from Wednesday (every week day until school starts EEEK) then Soccer for BEN and Brad starts the week before school... I have some training the 26th and then we'll be full time students, workers, players etc.

So I have been trying to convince my family that the dynamic is going to CHANGE with me going to work (although it isn't classified as FULL time I won't be home when the kids are at school so for all intensive purposes it's full time!) I'm trying to get things organized, trying to brain storm ideas on how we can delegate out responsibilities and keep things remaining smoothly and not eat take out every night of the week..

Some ideas I've thrown around (usually during dinner) are making a calendar with meal's on it along with who will be cooking the meal (the boys are actually becoming useful in this area) it will help me shop and not stare at the fridge and say "whats for dinner"... I've also come up with perhaps having the kids do their chores BEFORE they go to school... YES it will mean the boys getting up xtra early (they catch the bus at 6:45) BUT with all their xtra sports etc. I can envision my house going down hill FAST and if it gets done BEFORE school then think of how nice it will be to come home to things done!

The responses I usually get from the fam when I suggest these things is one of these * this isn't going to be that big of deal MOM things won't have to change that much *we aren't the only family who has 2 parents working, and my favorite * do you think your the first mother to go to work???

Honestly I get it!!! and I'm sure my friends who have juggled a job and a family are shaking your heads as you read this BUT I don't think MY family gets the gravity of this situation... THINGS ARE CHANGING.. I feel a little bit like I'm nesting right now.. trying to get all my house organized etc.. because something BIG is happening...

Ok I'm willing to admit I'm loosing it a bit, I know it will all work out but if you know me you know nothing can happen before I get a little nuts!
ta ta

Musings

So I am TOTALLY procrastinating I should be typing up an agenda for my camp meeting this week, its quite involved with lots of assignments (ie; delegating ME out of things hopefully haha!) but I am blocked... we have been BUSY BUSY BUSY... and I'm having a hard time keeping a handle on pretty much anything!!! to top it off it is COLD and RAINY which just makes me feel justified to be in an ugly mood...

Anyway last week I got to go on a field trip with KayLea's class it was to the "farm" the class is studying baby animals and this was kind of the cherry on the sundae so to speak... BUT although this farm had it's share of baby lambs and sheep and chick's it also had reindeer, Mt. Lion, Lion, Monkey's and Lots of other non farm type stuff.. and I really wouldn't have called it a zoo either it was well someones idea run a muck.. the kids LOVED it and it was on the most perfect day and KayLea FEEL IN LOVE with the baby lambs she would have stayed all day petting and chasing them (ok so there was MUCH more chasing than petting) I'm trying to upload some pic's of her and her lambs we'll see if blogger cooperates... Stay tuned for pic's of KayLea holding baby chicks that her class hatched IN CLASS this week.. (they can't hold them until Monday) they are SO cute!!! (no we aren't going to take home any, despite Ben's efforts to convince me otherwise)... the highlight of the field trip for me seeing a JUST BORN rain deer.. one of the other mom's suggested we wait to see that exhibit because the momma still had her placenta well "hanging" I said NO WAY and we went right over.. it was AWESOME.. I just loved seeing the momma lick off her baby and we got to see the baby try to walk a couple of times.. have I scared the children in my group forever??

On Monday for the school holiday Hunter finally had his friend party.. he invited 2 friends to go so "Night at the Museum 2" it was pretty good and the boys were really great.. Hunter came home and fished with his friends and Dad bbq'd He got to go yesterday and spend his gift cards.. he was so excited he had enough to get guitar hero and 2 guitars.. thanks grandma and grandpa!!! he's VERY excited..

So I also found out, actually just confirmed again that God has a since of humor... remember how boastful I was that the Fox's were DONE with pinewood derby and Cub Scouts FOREVER... I was just called to be Primary 2nd counselor over CUB SCOUTS.. so I'm pretty sure the Big guy was looking down saying "she's far too boastful and confident zap not for long!"... I'm excited but feeling just a tad bit overwhelmed.. I'm still doing camp and I'm STILL on boy scout committee too but hopefully after camp (I've gotten a reprieve from sharing times until after camp YEA!) things will be back down to a low roar...

anyway that's the goings on with our family... School officially ends June 22nd the school board opted NOT to ask for any snow days to be forgiven.. I'm pretty ticked BUT what can you do.. want to feel a little bit better about your crazy life here's what our end of June looks like right now..

June 10th KayLea's field trip to a Museum (i'm chaperoning)

June 17th- Hunter's field trip cruise around the harbor in Main (i'm chaperoning)

June 19th KayLea's Kindergarten celebration and party (i'm a room mom)

June 22nd Hunter's 5th grade celebration and bbq at the beach (also room mom for his class!) and LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

June 26th Hunter's 11 yr scout overnighter w/ Ben (thankfully I don't have to go I just have to pack for EVERYONE while they are gone)

June 27th or 28th I or Ben fly kids to Arkansas to spend week with Mom and Dad

June 28 or 29th I or Ben fly home

June 29th I have to be at girls camp by 2:00pm

July 3rd fly back to mom and dads

July 4th or 5th fly Brad back home and me fly back to AR. (he may fly half way by him self still deciding)

July 6-11th Brad at scout camp

sometime before July 11th come home with my Parents (maybe still working out the details)

after the 2nd week of July we will be sleeping pretty much 24/7

feel better now???

good my job is done here..

ta a

Suff i'm thinking about

I think after my memorable rant about the Vice Presidential candidate I have been in a constant state of thinking about my own role in my family and if I am living up to what I envisioned for my self when I took on the responsibility of being a Mother.. I've been reading allot of past conference talks this one in particular by Elder Ballard he gives some great advice... I relate so much to his experiences of his wife sitting with children alone at church, although Ben has never been in a Bishopric (knocking on wood right now!) he has often had to work Sundays and in fact last year I had decided to dedicate my monthly fasts to the cause of getting Ben Sundays off.. it worked amazingly (it's kinda a long story but his schedule changed with in about 3 months of fast's but only about 30 days after his new schedule of sunday's started ) but recently they have been short once again and so now he's scheduled Sundays AGAIN.. it is frustrating but I do know Ben is providing for us which is most important I haven't decided if I'll do my dedicatory fasts again because it seems as though it will be a temporary thing but we'll see.. anyway I'm getting off topic.. one of the quotes Elder Ballard used was one by Anna Quindlen.. i love it!

"Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).

Realizing that My kids are far more self sufficient than just a few short years ago has made me wonder if I took enough of these opportunity's to just "be" with my kids.. I am a "rusher" by nature.. wanting to get to the next thing as quick as possible.. I think Brad probably would have waited a tad bit longer to walk but I had him up on his tip toes holding both his hands walking him around my parents house sure he was "ready

but, thinking allot about this quote.. particularly lately our lives at home have gotten pretty hectic all of the sudden.. I'm feeling pulled in a few directions wanting to be everything to everyone, Its hard when your choosing between GREAT STUFF.. i mean its very flattering to be asked to be Class Mom, AND Chair the 4&5th grade musical play, AND be Team Mom, AND AND.. I feel somehow that I HAVE to do all of these things.. besides wasn't it me just a year or so ago that was complaining that because we are living in a TINY close nit community no one wanted an outsider helping them.. I would volunteer for everything but get a lone call to "send in some brownies"... and now I have 3 whole hours to spare every day!!! so I should be doing all this right?? what about those mom's who can't I can be the mouth peace for ALL THE MOM's who wish they could do all these things right??... I'm trying to learn a little about balance in case you haven't noticed...

Another great talk i'm re-reading regularly is by Julie B. Beck "Mothers who know" I was shocked at the controversy this talk brought.. I was sitting there watching the broadcast and for the first time in a long time i felt like Sister Beck (and ALL of the other speakers) were TALKING ONLY TO ME! I can't really remember why or the circumstances of my personal feelings prior to the meeting but i left the broadcast feeling renewed and ready to be a "mother who knows".. i STILL strive for that every day...

Knowing I fall short of being a 'mother who knows" allot i'm also trying hard not to beat my self up and renew my commitment every day (there's that balance thing coming back into play)...

This is just what i've been thinkin about lately...
ta ta