virtual Christmas Card

Hello All,
As all of you have most likely determined you will not be receiving a Christmas card from the Fox's in the East this year.. for that I am very sorry...  I have a million excuses that I won't bore you with but know its not for lack of loving or caring for each and every one of you  time, energy and my own thinking I could do it all is the main culprit but again excuse for sure...

We are doing great.. we are gearing up for our big move in just over a month (by mid feb) we are going to be going to Arkansas for Christmas and my parents have very generously offered to watch the kids while we jet off to Atlanta to try to at least narrow down a search for somewhere to live!. 

I will post some pictures of our Christmas and our trips and fill you all in on everything either as we go or when we get back.. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed but no more so than with any other move we've done..

Know this for sure we love you and are so blessed to have you as part of our family, friend ward school circles.  We have very bittersweet feelings about leaving our NH family but know that this is the best move for our family right now.

as far as pictures go I'm posting a pic from Budd's wedding this past October I hate how I look in it but the rest of the crew looks great!!!

Wishing you all the best Christmas Season, we are equally blessed to know the true meaning and to honor our Saviors birth. 

ta, ta or ho ho ho

Here we are with the Happy Couple have I said yet how much we LOVE Roxanne ???she's great and we are so happy for Budd and our family to have such an awesome addition!

Here we are outside the LA Temple

the Fox's

cha..cha..cha..changes!

So by now i'm sure everyone has heard but I suppose I'm feeling a tad bit guilty over neglecting my little blog here, so feel like I need to say SOMTHING here..

WE ARE MOVING!! We are moving to Georgia (Atlanta area)  Ben got a new position in the newly opening Southwest Station ATL. We are very excited and have major bittersweet feelings leaving New Hampshire but feel this is the right move for our family right now.  Ben has to report by mid January and the kids and I will follow with in a month of him (mid Feb at lastest). 

So thankfully we are letting the company move us so the'll do all the packing, loading and un-loading YEA!! I have given my notice at work and will work through mid January maybe a few days after here and there If they need me but they have committed to work with me so that I don't completely loose my mind while I am a single parent and coordinating a move..

So there you have it.. I have pictures to share of Budd's wedding BUT that will have to wait cuz I can't find the memory card oh maybe I need to start the purge/declutter process NOW!

anyway thats the news of the hour here!
love to you all
 ta  ta

I havn't left for good!

So I don't post for a month and Blogger goes and changes its format and I've been fiddling with it for 20 minutes before I could even start this blasted thing...
So obviously life has hit high gear in the Fox's home, school, soccer for Brad, Football for Hunter and Soccer for Kay has been in full gear... truth be known its actually winding down FINALLY... who knew having active kids gives the parents no life.. no wonder we never did any of this stuff growing up!!!
So School has started for all including me (working at school not going yet) it has been an adjustment in more ways than one for me but I think I'm getting the hang of it and the powers that be seem to be pleased with my performance so far (from what I can tell at least)...Brad is taking a pretty heavy load with 2 math and 2 Science classes.. yes he's a smarty pants and we have no clue what genes he got those from.. I am still struggling with him getting older (he can drive at Christmas EEEK!) He is getting his Eagle Project going and should have it completed by the end of the year (fingers crossed!) so he can get his license on or near his Birthday next June (I can't believe it either)... He is playing JV Soccer and has kind of a rough season.. He is testing his boundaries and I'm sure my parents are remembering those "I hope she gets a kid just like her" prayers they prayed long long ago... Carma is quite a sour pill!!! Hunter is still loving football He ran for Student Body President and I got other kids parents telling me what a great speech he gave etc. BUT he didn't win he was kind of bummed but honestly he didn't put that much effort into the campaign so I think he's over it!!! He is enjoying his last year of Middle School and is now looking for ward to H.S. Football (don't know if his mom is as excited!)  KayLea is struggling a bit this school year and we are working through it but boy its bringing back some HEAVY flash backs of a bad 5th grade year I had many many moons ago.. She is enjoying Soccer and still loves snuggles with Mom and loves it when I can go have lunch with her which makes me feel great so I'm going to enjoy it while I can...

Ben has fully recovered from the car accident (THANK GOODNESS!) loves his new "Big Truck" and isn't really looking forward to the cold that is looming.. I am just trying to keep my head above water as far as house work and kids I enjoy working but I am really tired at the end of the day..

We are very excited to Travel to CA week after next (weekend of the 22) to see Budd (Ben's Dad)be sealed to a wonderful Lady.. we are so happy for Him and we are looking forward to a fun weekend.. anyone wanna visit while we are down there.. time is limited but we are willing we are renting a car and have a hotel booked so were all yours...

so that's the long and short of it
ta ta

21 years since our first date and STILL going strong

So Sat. was my 37th birthday.. yep i'm old!! But it also marked another significant milestone/anniversary.. it was 21 years since Ben and My first date... I suppose I should have done this blog post LAST year since 20 seems way more significant than 21 but who knows why I didn't so here is our "relationship" 21 yrs in the making in pictures.. only comentary will be captions on the pic's enjoy!

Ben soccer pic age 16

although this was NOT our first date it WAS at Disneyland..

wern't we so sweet we'd make your teeth ache!

Jr Prom 1991

Sadie Hawkins Dance I THINK 1991

Sr. Prom 1992, for the record "cap" sleves were considered quite modest in the day not so sure i'd agree w/ todays youth standards BUT at the time I was legal!

I think my grandmother was MORTIFIED that we shoved cake into each other's faces but all about the fun baby!

I had to add this picture because Ben's best friend David Hatch was like our 3rd in a treo throught our dating, friendship etc. when we told the photographer at our reception that we wanted a picture of the 3 of us he didn't quite know how to pose us.. Ben and I stood there w/ Ben's arm around me and the photographer kept hemming and hawing and finally Ben told Dave put your arm around her! so he did and he shot the picture and I love it.. truth be known My parents would get the question "who is KyLeyne dating, Ben or Dave?" allot!

this is not a picture I have framed anywhere but I just love it it shows how happy we were that day.

first family picture christmas 1996

in front of the Newport Beach Temple open house

last good family pic taken in 2009

 So there you have it folks.. Ben and I's 21 years in pictures.. It has been an incrediable 21 year roller coaster that I never want to get off!!!
ta ta

Hope your summer has ended BETTER than mine!

So our summer was shaping up nicely, Ben was planning one more camping trip for the boys (locally) and had the day off last Saturday so decided to take the boys fishing in the next town over.. Boys got their chores done the day before just to seal the deal..
They get off and going fairly early in the morning when about an hour or so later I get a call from a number I don't recognize.. I decided to answer it (its a toss up if I don't recognize the number) and its Ben telling me he's just been in a bad accident I need to come to the scene right away I ask him if everyone is OK and He says he said YES I obviously didn't think he was very convincing because I kept asking and even as I was driving to the scene I started getting very worried..
He was less than 10 miles from home and when I drive onto where there is obviously a wreck I stop behind a volunteer fireman's truck pull off and park still not being able to see anything beyond the truck.. I instruct KayLea to stay strapped in the back seat of the car and walk onto the scene..
Now Ben told me it was bad and he told me the truck was totalled but what I saw I WAS NOT what I was expecting to see.. I see Ben's truck upside down resting on the small cab roof.. at first I couldn't believe it was Ben's truck.. the color of the truck wasn't easily recognizable due to me only seeing the under belly of the truck but fairly soon my brain started processing and I got sick to my stomach and started shaking pretty visibly and my knees were giving way at that moment a WONDERFUL woman who had witnessed the whole accident came to my rescue and asked "are you Mom?" I shook my head and she came and held me up assuring me everyone was OK.. as she helped me get to them through the wreck and the ambulance, OH YEA my first visual was of the upside down truck and just behind it (blocking all view of anything behind it) was an ambulance w/ its lights flashing adding to my panic... I see the boys together on the embankment and Ben being treated by EMT's w/ lots of blood and I keep asking this woman everyone is OK??? the boys shake their heads I'm kind of crying kind of yelling wanting reassurance that everyone is OK..
they were thank goodness!
the boys were wearing their seat belts.. Ben wasn't (I know, I know and he knows too) Ben crawled out of the wreck and the boys un belted them selves and were able to get out with little assistance.. Ben got very beat up with allot of cuts and scrapes from not being belted in AND getting out of the drivers side window.  the boys had a few cuts from getting out of the car and Hunter was sore from the seat belt and being in the back seat of the cab...
All in all I know and THEY all know they were SO SO SO LUCKY!!!
so I wasn't able to wrap my mind around how lucky they were until we went back to clean out the truck here are some pic's we took

 So now you get the idea... so what happened???
So Ben was driving down a 2 lane highway,and a truck coming towards him going the opposite way lost his rear WHEEL, not tire WHEEL! and the wheel was coming towards him heading for his windshield he turned the wheel to try to avoid it and the wheel hit Ben's drivers side tire/wheel and sent him spinning out of control... as Ben was spinning across the other lane of traffic he saw 2 bicyclists and knew he was heading right for them so he turned the wheel the opposite way again making him skid across the street and flip the truck 1 1/2 times then rolling back down the embankment to land on the top of the truck..
I took Ben to the Hospital where he was coded a "trauma" and got all the bells and whistles, CAT scan, x-rays, chest and pelvic scans etc. nothing was broken but he feels like he just did 15 rounds w/ Mike Tyson.. he's been off work since we saw his regular doctor's office this week and they have him off until Monday but coming back in if he doesn't feel like he can do it..
the other guy has insurance we've already started a claim with them for the Truck AND for Ben's injuries.. so fingers crossed everything will work out OK..
thankful list
* Ben and the boys are ALIVE!!!
*Ben is not critically or permanently injured
*the other guy has insurance and so far seems to be covering everything including a rental car
*the bicycle couple were spared, and then ran into action to stay with all my boys to reassure them, give an accurate account of what they saw and call my husband "THEIR HERO" they were sure they were going to be seriously hit..

All in all I can see the blessings in this.. the boys got a good lesson as to the power of God and the promptings of the Holy Ghost, Hunter would normally NOT have been wearing his seat belt in that back tiny jump seat, it is a pain to get on and although we ask him everything has gone with out MANY times (never again!) he knows he was guided to put that belt on!!!
we are just so lucky and blessed and GRATEFUL!!!
So that's what we've been doing this week... how about you???
Ta, Ta!!!

Whirl wind summer so far and I come from fantastic STOCK!

So its been a fantastic summer so far.. I am way under slept and like an infant I've got my days and nights mixed up but so far I think it's worth it!First i completed my 3rd year at Girls Camp (as an adult leader).. it was fun and EXHAUSTING! but i survived.. I'm not sure what will happen as far as weather or not I'll go again next year but I think if they want me I'll do it again...

I couldn't fit all our girls in one shot.. skit night

all the girls w/ our Bishop for Bishop's night

camp fire w/ smores!

after Camp I set off to pick up KayLea from my parents and then pick up my Mom and head to Washington State for a mini reunion, My Mom's siblings hadn't all been in one place in 17 years and so it was an amazing weekend.. the purpose was to paint a garage my 83 yr old Grandpa constructed BY HIM SELF!!! with homemade trusses etc. it was a sight to behold and I think the paint job was the icing on the fantastic construction cake!

  KayLea also had a fantastic time she got to meet some cousins for the first time.. before I add the pic's I should explain the generations in my family (actually on both sides) is a little well lets just say interesting.. My Mother is the oldest of 7children.. I am the oldest grandchild if I've counted correctly I am the oldest of 20 grand kids.. so that means I have an Uncle who is just a few years older than me and one that is about 2 yrs younger than me.. so I explain this because my kids have the same "issue" I had growing up in that I was always the oldest (by quite a bit) of the children my own generation but had a few "friends" in the next up meaning I am far closer to my Aunts and Uncles than I am to any 1st cousins.. so the following pictures are actually of KayLea's 2nd cousins or my Uncles children making them MY 1st cousins.. KayLea had great fun trying to figure out how we were all related but then decided it didn't matter because there was a GIRL COUSIN HER AGE!!! actually Hannah is just a tad big older than her but they both bonded over American Girl dolls and Nintendo DS games and had so much fun running like mad catching slugs and climbing trees.. they enjoyed (a little bit too much if you ask me) terrorizing Hannah's little sisters but had a great time!

   The one thing I was kind of the squeaky wheel about was wanting a family picture of my Grandparents and all the siblings (remember it had been 17 yrs since they had last been ALL together) so here are some pic's of that!
 
  So it was a fantastic weekend.. KayLea got to see where her Great Grandparents live and meet (many for the first time) great Uncles and Aunts.. we all agreed to not let as much time pass before we all meet up again (next year's BIG reunion is in yellow stone!) and I think the thing that I took out of it all was that I come from pretty AWESOME stock! All of my Mom's siblings are quite diverse in their occupations and interests and when they all get together it is a great mix of conversation and opinions.. it was GREAT! the boys are camping in the Sierra's this week with their California Grandpa more pictures to come I'm sure!
ta ta

Happy 15th Birthday Brad

Cheese Cake as usual.. all but KayLea beg for this cake.. my only rule.. I serve it naked.. i'll have toppings on the side if you wish but I will not adulterate the cake with toppings it ruins the whole thing!

he's not to old or cool to blow out candels

gotta love trick candles

trick candles never get old!

Happy Birthday big boy I am in complete denial that in 6 months he'll have his learners permit (which actually in NH is nonexhistant he gets to just start driving in 6 months, no test, no paperwork, no actual permit just gets to drive... with a parent of coarse! )Yes we most deffenately live in the STICKS!
ta ta

Happy Summer!

So first day of summer YEA!!! I ended the school year with a bang.. only 2months of working and I was completely ready for the year to be over.. don't get me wrong I had a good time, I think they liked me and were happy with my performance BUT the situation that makes it necessary to hire a full time aid just 2 months before school ends usually means it's a hard case and BOY WAS IT!!!
I am happy with my assignment for next year and am sure it will make for an easier transition that I already know the student and am famiular with his needs etc. (its a different kid than what I had this year)...
so our plans for this summer are shaping up nicely.. week after next i'll take KayLea to Arkansas to spend 4th of july week with them while I go to Girls camp again.. I know i'm a total glutton for punishment BUT I actually find it really fun and our girls in our ward fantastic! everyone pray for SUN and NO rain! the boys will be at Scout Camp the same week i'm at camp so KayLea will get the grandparents to herself for the whole week she is gitty with excietment and I think they are also!

after that I'll go back to AR to get the girl and from there My Mom, Kay and I will head to Washington State to see my grandparents and some extended family on my Mom's side I havn't been since I was hugly preggers with KayLea and obviously KayLea doesn't remember that so I think it will be a fun girls weekend! while that isgoing on the boys are going to head to sunny CA to go camping with Grandpa Budd.. we'll all be back just in time for soccer camp, football camp and fall soccer to start! fun!
and then school starts...
another fun tid bit I'm finally ALMOST caught up on my scrapbooking... for those who knew me back in Texas you'll know that me being even a little behind is HUGE.. but I was nearly 3 yrs behind and i found a great website and place to print the completed electronic pages.. so for now i'm set..
i'm trying to upload some examples of the pages i've printed but so far no luck i'll keep trying
my big goal for the summer is to have THIS attitude...

ta ta fornow!

where has the month gone???

So Its been about a month since my last post... you'd think not much has happened, you'd be WRONG.. we've been busy busy busy... Me working again has us in a tale spin (a good one)... I come home exhausted..  so the housework suffers but there is only 2 more weeks left in school... GOOD NEWS I got a contract for next year YEA!!! so we can have a fun summer knowing I'll have a paycheck come August!!!

so here are some pictures of what we've been up to the last month...


Brad finished his first season in HS Track.. he did quite well



his events were the Hurdles and Long Jump



towards the end of the season he was also running in a relay event, Brad lettered this year which only 1 other freshman did so although he didn't make a fast enough time to qualify for divisional I'm calling his freshman year a SUCCESS!!!



Hunter's 13th birthday, he had some friends over to have pizza and video games then he and a friend went paint balling with Ben early in the morning.. can you believe I have 2 teenagers???



KayLea's class was asked to participate in a Memorial Day Program held at our town.. I got there early and got an isle seat just so I could get good pictures and they ended up having the kids do their thing in the far corner of the stage so this is the only shot I could get



the thing I kept thinking of during the program was how similar it was to a Cub Scout Pack Meeting, except for the flag ceremony was done by the American Legion (men who were well above the age of 60) the man conducting had us stand for EVERY patriotic song, not just the star spangled banner.. it was very cute!

So that's what we've been up to.. we have 2 more full weeks of school so we are definitely ready for it to end!!!
ta ta





Here we are again

So tomorrow will mark Lane's 11th Birthday, AND Mothers Day... This coincidence has only happened one other time and both times I don't realise it until the day or two before.. that is probably a good thing.. The last time his Birthday fell on Mothers day the anticipation was SO MUCH WORSE than the actual day.. the day it self ended up being very special and healing. 

I recently had a dr's appt for a physical.. for my new job and because I volunteer at Girls Camp every year I have to have a physical.. because we moved I got a new doctor and going through my medical history of coarse the 4 c-sections and the fact that I only have 3 living children to show for it and the fact that because of Lane's Heart Defect the whole family family is at more risk for Heart disease/defect it has to be mentioned (not that I would omit it ever, but its a conversation that can't be avoided is the point).. My new Dr. I really like she is young and has a 5 month old baby she just recently came back from maternity leave so I don't know if that played a factor but the conversation got quite a bit deeper than the usual strictly history.. She asked me how I "cope with the loss".. my standard answer for this is "it's been 11 years, I'll never be over it.. but it DOES get easier"  I still have my triggers.. and sometimes they come out of no where.. the worst is music, I LOVE LOVE LOVE music Hilary Weeks has a few songs that if I don't prepare myself I'll fall into a ball of tears and it's usually when I'm driving a car full of kids somewhere, I have also had this happen a hand full of times while I'm SINGING... I can practice the song over and over but when it's time to perform the song and the spirit is strong something will hit me a different way and its over and BTW I cannot sing and cry.. maybe some people can but I REALLY can't my throat tightens and I can't get out any sound it's really ugly!!!  Another way is we don't hide Lane or his memory.. we from the very start told the boys they could always speak about him ask any question or talk about him ANYTIME ANYWHERE!!! (this hasn't always been easy but our policy has served us very well) We have constant reminders that he was HERE, he was REAL.. he was/is our Son and Brother.. we have the picture at the top of this post in our front room we have his Hand and Foot prints in our back/living room with the receiving blanket/toy?? I was given when they took Lane away to the Children's hospital, I know it's to try to leave moms with something to do while their babies are away they said to put it under my hospital gown when I slept that it would gain my sent (it really did) and that we could bring it with us when we saw Lane for the first time so he could still smell me when I was away from the hospital.. of coarse I did it but when he died I kept it.. for a while it still smelled like him (lets be real, it smelled like hospital) now it doesn't but its just a small thing we keep out.. (its pictured below)

we also have the picture we displayed at his funeral (see below).. We probably wouldn't have had a traditional church funeral for Lane had we not made the decision to bury him in Arkansas (we lived in TX, Dallas area, we would have done just a graveside service) but we had 20 days of non-stop love and support an wonderful friends who really took care of us for those 3 weeks that we felt like we really owed it to them to have one BUT I had some very specific ideas of what I wanted.. some of which the Funeral  Director didn't necessarily agree with, she was awesome don't get me wrong really an angel on earth taking care of parents who loose babies.. she took great pains to prepare his body and make him look like a porcelain doll BUT I wanted a closed casket.. I felt very protective of him and really didn't want anyone who didn't know and love him to see him.. I didn't want a viewing (again Funeral Director tried to convince us otherwise but we wouldn't listen)... SO to sort of appease her we quickly developed the one and only picture we have of Both Ben and I Holding Lane for the first time after he was transferred to the Children's hospital

I also have a scrapbook that is Just Lane's.. all of the other kids are all mixed in together but I did one whole book just for him,  don't look at it nearly as much as I use to but there are moments when I need to and I do and let my self feel what I need to at that moment...

Thankfully I can see the blessings there was a time I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to say that so that's something!

So this has turned into kind of a ramble for that I'm sorry My intent was to share how I cope... moral of the story is I just DO... most days are good some moments hurt but I'm anticipating I'll have those kind of moments for the rest of my life and that's OK..

Happy Mothers day all.. I know there are lots out there who are in the same boat as me but I am SO thankful for All of my Children!!! I have and continue to learn so much from them all and can't wait for the day when we will all be reunited together and can sit and laugh about this wonderful journey we are on!

ta ta

Post Note: so after re-reading this I feel like I need to scrap it and do it over BUT I'm going to resist the temptation.. if you don't know or whole story you can look here or here or here for past blog posts about Lane's journey to the Fox's and our journey after...