busy busy busy-- or depressed not sure??

So I think I've kind of been in a depressed funk lately not sure, because usually when i feel this coming on I dive DEEP into something to pull myself out, like when in Texas years and years ago after Lane I felt a little blue and decided that would be the year we would have a HUGE garden I spent days tilling the soil getting bags of pete soil planted at least 4 different varieties of tomatoes, peppers and watermelon then I didn't feel blue anymore but I had that dam garden to tend to.. it didn't work out to well as you can imagine..

But this time I can't seem to get "into" anything.. I pulled out my scrapbook (my depression life saver when I had post pardom with Brad) and I went through it got out pictures that needed to be scrapped and just left it in a pile to be dealt with later.. I certainly have housework that NEEDS to be done but that's not appealing (but I really can't blame that on being depressed that is a constant in my life!).. and I have other projects that need started also but somehow I can't seem to get it together.. I'm keeping pretty busy at the school I'm doing both kids Halloween parties on Friday so I spent yesterday getting everything done with that.. so its not boredom for sure..

Last night I think i decided it was this darn election and the financial crisis our country is going through.. I know i vowed I wasn't going to get political again but obviously this is consuming my thoughts and sleepless nights so I have to get this off my chest and it's all just my opinion anyway so hopefully no one will take offence and If you do it's just a warning just keep it to yourself OK! I"m not to thrilled with ANY of the candidates.. for once in my life I felt like I had really researched the candidates and could really support someone in the primary election and felt my reasons were far reaching but he didn't win and it got ugly and felt like I had to defend my very belief system due to some swarmey things his running mate (who also did not win THANKFULLY) campaigned with..but NOW in this current financial mess I really feel like my candidate would be far better qualified to step in and bring us all out of this mess but of coarse that's what people call "sour grapes" ... I see the Republican candidate making every mis step you can and realise he has DONE this campaigning stuff HOW many times? and he's still stammering on meet the press which i do realize he's not getting a fair shake in the press, i get it but COME ON!!! I see the Democrat candidate resting on his laurels because he's got the election all sewin up, I don't have confidence in EITHER of the candidates.. I still haven't decided who I'll check when I'm in the voting booth and If I didn't think it was going to be such a close election I might just pick whom ever is on the ballot on the green or libertarian ticket but I don't feel like that is a good choice either right now..

I think I might have a seasonal blues thing going too my pretty fall that I love so much has pretty much led to seeing what looks to be dead trees and a big mess and not even pretty white yet.. it flurried off and on all day yesterday Ben and I took a drive up to the mountain and it was actually sticking about 20-30 feet up so it's coming. the Heater is in a constant state of on although we are trying to keep it lower than we have in the past and asking the kids to put on socks and sweaters.. we'll see how long that lasts..

I don't want anyone to worry about me I"m find I've got this all off my chest and I can only pray that after next Tuesday I'll have a re-newed energy no matter what happens!
ta ta

I got it!!!

So I got my Fall Family Picture today... After MANY wines and cries about what i wanted everyone to wear and how I wanted a little girl's hair.. I think it turned out OK.. it was a little cold so everyone claimed I was freezing them out but this is the price we pay for NOT doing it on Monday when it was sunny and warm...

So for now i'll have to be happy with it.. we'll curl up by the fire and with in a few days all those pretty leaves you see behind us will be gone and nothing but dead looking trees will remain now if I could only photo shop my double chin and make Brad look a little more HAPPY!!!

ta ta for now

is it still????

So this blog post came to me last night while i WASN'T sleeping and I thought about waiting to post it since I just did a post yesterday BUT alas I'm sure I'd forget it so here goes..

• will I still get the blessings of donating hair to Locks of Love if I'm Cursing the haircut that was the result??

• Is it ok if with every good intention I purchased aprox 14+ pounds of Butternut Squash (it was on sale at Sam's) to only realize WE ALL HATE Butternut squash soup.. I made a HUGE pot of it and now it's in my freezer to await the assignment of taking a meal into someone.. is it still service if it's actually a blessing that someone is taking this stuff off my hands?? ok I actually found the soup kind of yummy but it needed ALLOT of salt which made me think of the time when Gina and I went to New York and my awesome aunt Carol took us to a Mediterranean restaurant we we both had a Hummus platter for the first time.. we were STARVING and we kept piling on the salt its when i discovered I'm not so adventurous in the food department (which I REALLY should have considered before taking this recent culinary leap with B.N.Squash)

• in the same token I'm thinking of making ANOTHER big pot of it because I still have 4 squashes staring at me.... judging me.. but I've only been asked to take 1 meal in the last YEAR so the chances of unloading 2 yucky meals is slim to none! but the guilt of throwing out produce is just too much to bare.. what would you do with them??



• I've decided TEACHING is a noble profession and a PERFECT "mom job" but volunteering on this musical has made me realize it's just not my calling I want to ram the kids heads together when they are acing up, Hunter's teacher has WAY more patience than I do.. I kind of already knew Teaching was out for me after teaching pre-school if my kid isn't involved I'm kinda board and not that excited (which begs the question as to why am i having issues with the play... Hunter is in it! hmmm) but with the prospect of going back to school in the next few years it has come across my mind to give it a go again (teaching I mean) is that bad that I don't want to do that??

so that's my wacko post for today.. hopefully no one thinks they need to call CPS or even worse..

tata

Ramblings about my Day

So Fall has FINALLY arrived and since moving to New Hampshire (the above pic's are of our creek in the back yard) I have declared Fall my FAVORITE season of them all with a close second to a tie between Summer and Winter those are the FUN seasons.. Sorry Spring due to awful allergies "you are out"... i know, i know we need spring to have the others it's the growing season but I can be un-reasonable it's my blog!!!

Anyway Today was a great day because Ben had the day off and because the kids had the day off of school I had planned to take a family picture today only because the only family picture I have the boys were 2 and 4 and KayLea wasn't even born so it was HI time!! I have been seeking out the most perfect spot for a family photo since we moved here and have been waiting for JUST the right FALL moment and I think today was the day.. Ben and I had to do some errands this morning (I even picked up a tripod.. I wasn't foolin around folks!) and while we were gone the Boys had strict instructions along with a list of 2 chores each to be done by the time we got home.. huge surprise (not) they weren't done and so we said fine we'll do the pic when your done and showered and and and.. and guess what we missed our awesome opportunity Ben has to work tomorrow so he's already getting to bed and i just KNOW the wind or the rain or our busy lives is going to prevent the awesome picture I have in my head to come about.. and to prove to you what an awesome location it is here below is where I want our family pic taken...

First Choice (above)

2nd Choice (above)

3rd Choice (above)

So if you get a Christmas card with an awful pic of us in front of our Christmas tree (AGAIN!) you'll know that I was RIGHT and we missed the PERFECT day to take a pic with the fall colors.. I just know all those beautiful leaves (including the ones the boys are begging to rake on the ground but I won't let them because I WANT them in my perfect picture!!) will be GONE due to wind or rain or even dare I say it SNOW...

enough of my rant

ta ta

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FREE Weekend!!!

We have a free weekend FINALLY.. It's Columbus day weekend here and evidently new englanders take this holiday seriously in Boston there is a big parade etc. etc. here it means everyone gets the last chance garage/barn sales out of the way because cooler weather is coming.. but it ALSO means we don't have any soccer games Hunter's last official game is next Saturday but he plays both the girls teams on Tuesday and Thursday.. I have to say I'm NOT sorry to see this season be done.. Both boys have had a good time but they both have struggled with different things Hunter; with his growing pains I wish this kid would just grow and be done with the aching ankles and knees (yes he's definitely my kid) and Brad the middle school has had some orgazional and coaching struggles Ben's actually thinking about seeing what it would take for him to be able to coach next year.. we are thinking he has to be a teacher but maybe not to volunteer..

So as i said before I think I am helping with the school Musical of the Music Man Jr. and that has taken up ALLOT of my time this past week and I was asked to be the Stage manager (Ash aren't you proud) which only really means I help wrangle the kids and get people where they need to be etc.. (OK ash maybe your not so proud now haha) and I'll be the one behind stage getting kids where they need to be... It's fun but exhausting. I'm also helping with costumes which I guess i really shouldn't have said it's a "free" weekend because I'm going to go beg borrow or steel some costumes from our local summer playhouse in the next town over later today.. I just hope they have what we need.. if not there's a community theatre in Concord that let us borrow last year... Hunter got his part he's Mayor Sym's (watch the movie) he's VERY excited it's a major part so his practicing etc. paid off..

so that's what we are up to I have some pic's from soccer i have to organize but I'll get them posted some time

tata

Dog's Gone, Huge relief and weight lifted... in the words of Forest Gump "Thats all I got to say about that"..

If only I believed in Reincarnation

So We have ALWAYS said that it's too bad we don't believe in reincarnation (i know I'm sure I've butchered the spelling) because Hunter has almost ALL of my Great Grandma Mockridge's tendencies when it comes to getting ready to leave the house.. First i have to say I loved my Great Grandma VERY MUCH.. I lived with her and my Grandma Merry AND my Other great grandma Nanny, when my parents moved to Arkansas I was in College and could never have afforded to live on my own so these 3 ladies saved me in more ways than one.. Grandma Mockridge never learned how to drive she actually told a very funny story of how my her Husband (Pappa Mockridge) tried to teach her and she didn't make it through one lesson and just said something like "I'm done" and never drove ever, she always someone take her where ever she went... All of my memories of her are after Pappa died and because she didn't drive etc. she moved in with My Grandma Merry and Grandpa Jack and although i have a few flash memories of Pappa it's hard to tell if they are real or from pictures etc.. Anyway on to how Hunter and She are just alike.. When i was living with the Grandma's one of my favorite things to do was to take the Great Grandma's to do her weekly errands.. Nanny usually took her on Friday's BUT soon after i moved in Nanny had a series of strokes so the system drastically changed after that.. and although i was going to school and working full time I really tried so hard to help Grandma Merry as much as I could.. Grandma Mockridge LOVED LOVED LOVED the mall my only complaint was it took her FOREVER to get ready I mean I would have to tell her at least 2 hours before we were leaving ANYWHERE so she could primp and prime to get ready, here's the funny thing. she wasn't so much a very over done lady she just TOOK HER TIME!!! I do remember one time though that I came home unexpectedly and thought I'd just shoot her up to the mall but only had a few hours.. I came home and told her I could take her up to the Mall if she could be ready in 30 minutes.. I don't think I ever saw her move so quick and she WAS ready on time!!!
so how's Hunter like her..

Hunter Loves the long shower.. his shower yesterday was only 15 minutes and he even commented "hey I was only in there for 15 minutes that's good right mom?" which it was but the 40 minutes he was in his room brooding over what to wear kind of cancelled that out.. but his average shower is about 30 minutes and that's because after 20 i go in and tell him to "rinse and run please" He can have 40 minutes until he's got to catch the bus and all he had to do is get his shoes on and eat breakfast (we keep it simple cereal or a bagel in the morning) and he STILL is running out the door bagel in mouth almost missing the bus... I've even tried my little trick i used with Grandma (you can go _______ insert fun place.. if you can be ready in xx amt of time) it doesn't work... I think he calls my bluff and don't get me wrong Grandma would call my bluff pretty regularly too.. so you see Grandma Mockridge died just after Brad was born and so she had to give a bit of her tendencies to the next one HUNTER!!!

I've had fun remembering Grandma Mockridge so i just had to include my most favorite memory of her in her last year with us was when Dad and I went to Southern Ca for Grandma Merry's retirement party (Ben and I were down for a wedding and it just so happened to co-inside with her party) It was a surprise to Grandma Merry that Dad was down so we kind of snuck in to see Grandma Mockridge at the nursing home she was in She recognized Dad right off the bat and kind of recognized me but I was hugely pregnant with Brad and she couldn't quite place me I was warned that this was a possibility she had kind of gone a little down hill but it was a great visit.. THEN after Brad was born we visited S. CA to show him off to all the relatives Grandma Merry and I took him to the home again so Grandma Mockridge could meet him.. She just Loved on him and you would have thought she was the bell at the ball with all the other seniors gathering around like she was the pied piper with the Baby, it really sparked everyone attention and everyone there had a smile on their faces... We kept reminding her who the baby was "it's KyLeyne's Baby, Bradley" and then it all became clear why she couldn't place me before she said "No, it can't be, KyLeyne's said she'd never have babies".. and you know what, I DID SAY THAT AS A TEENAGER!!!
ahhh memories