Tic Trauma !!

Today We had quite a morning, a good friend and her Baby were coming over to do some scrap booking so i was in a hurry to get things picked up from the morning and KayLea insisted she wanted a bath so it actually worked out OK because it got her out of my hair for a minute and when i was putting her hair in pig tails after the bath we discovered this creature on her head!!! we do pretty regular (more regularly NOW!) tic checks but honestly i had never even checked her hair.. I got kind of freaked out so i called the Dr to try to find out what i was looking for in terms of did i get it all out etc... i must have sounded freaked because the nurse who had started giving me the speech about tic's stopped and said we have an appointment at 2:45 BRING THE TIC... so i fished him out of the water cup (assuming i had to drowned... him but he wasn't dead!) and put him in a zip loc bag just as instructed (that's where he is in the picture above).. so he looked with a magnified light and she's fine.. i did get it all out and it wasn't a Deer Tic (which is the one's they worry about for Lime Disease).. i got way more info than i ever wanted to know about a Tic's but we have to keep the little bugger for 2 weeks.. watch the bite and make sure it doesn't get a red ring or rash or weird fever or joint pain .. so after 2 weeks we can flush him...

isn't it fun living in the country~~ i think I need a NAP!!! did i mention that I've had itchy scalp ALL DAY!!!

C-Pap Machine Mask take 2

Ben had to get a new mask.. this is night 4 and last night he wore it all night YEA!!! he still thinks he probably needs the surgery but i think it might just be his stubborn=ness..

also we just keep needing to remind ourselves that it has only been a few weeks.. he's had this pretty much forever so it's gonna take a minute or two to resolve the issue..

cross your fingers!

Take me out to the Ball game!!

Ok i really have to admit it wasn't nearly as aweful as i predected... the kids were so well behaved.. KayLea got a little restless towards the end but they didn't even gripe when we had to walk a few blocks to the car (which by the way i did splurge for the 10$ parking!.. and STILL had to walk a bit)... they ate so much junk food it was unreal but it was fun.. the only touchy part was it was going on 10pm and it WAS a school night and the score was tied 1-1 and i told them we coldn't stay past one overtime inning.. it would just get too late to stay for fireworks... they all grumbled until the other team scored a HOMERUN... they cheered much to the dissopointment of everyone around us.. well our team got back up to bat and almost got a home run again.. then it was a fly ball and it got caught YEAH!!!! they cheered.. even though it was the last out and it ment "our" team lost!!! they were cheering because they got to stay to watch fireworks!!!.. my kids no loyalty hua!!!

it wasn't bad at all!!! i really should have given my kiddo's much more credit!!!

I must be insane!!!
Ok so Ben's work schedule has gone to the Dogs big time.. 3 out of the 5 supervisors are out due to injury so Ben and one other supervisor are having to pick up the slack. Ben doesn't mind too much but it does mean he's having to work more than double shifts more than he's had to in a long while... there is some relief in site, a temp. supervisor is already in town and should be working regular shifts this week BUT Ben ended up having to work from 4am to around 1am yesterday/this morning then his regular shift today (4am-12:30pm) so this meant he was not going to be in any condition to take the boys to the baseball game.. we discussed it last night and I told Ben it just wasn't a good idea.. we looked online and figured out when the next game we could make it to etc.. then i told the boys this morning.. Hunter started with the water works immediately.. he kept saying "I understand.. but i can't stop crying"... (ok I'm trying hard not to think this kid knows how to get to me BIG TIME!!!) so after thinking it over i decided I AM TAKING THEM TO THE GAME!!! we had an extra ticket anyway so I'm taking all 3 kids!! i think i am going to regret it big time but hopefully not.. to top it off after saying I'd take the kids i got on the website to get directions etc.. and the stadium does not have it's own parking so Ben asked around at work and we'll have to walk quite a distance for reasonable parking.. (frankly i think i might pay through the tooth not to have to walk with a tired 4 yr old at the end). anyway I'll post pictures tomorrow..
think good behaved kid thoughts!!!

Finally!!

Well Ben has jumped through all the hoops and all the appointments etc.. and today the Medical Supply company finally made it to us and got Ben all set up with his C-Pap machine.. of coarse he's not completely settled yet, it could take up to a couple of days to a week for him to get completely use to it.. but i just checked up on him (he's been in bed for about an hour) and he's sound asleep so hopefully thats a good sign... anyway i know we have very high hopes for this so everyone keep your fingers crossed that this will give him some well needed relief!

Update: the mask only lasted about half the night... it started irritating his nose so he took it off.. i just keep reminding myself it's a process!!

Happy 9th Birthday Hunter!!

Hunter turned 9 yesterday but Ben had to work an un-expected double so he did get to open his presents from mom and dad yesterday but we did brownie Sunday's (his choice for b'day cake) and his birthday dinner; English Muffin pizza (also his choice) tonight. He got mostly flat presents with the exception of a DS game and a Cranium board game and a great book "The Dangerous book for boys" from Grandma Cathy and Grandpa Jack; the book was a huge hit!!! its an encyclopedia of all things boy from how to make a go-cart to how to play poker to a very cute section on girls (the final rule about girls is to treat them with respect.. got to love it!!)..

anyway he also had a baseball game tonight.. he had kind of a mis hap.. he got walked to first base and then when he got the signal to steel to 2nd the path to the bases weren't marked as well as our home field and he accidentally went to third instead of 2nd and got out for interference.. but it was a lesson to look up not just as the ground in front of you...

He's eagerly awaiting Shrek the 3rd which he got tickets for next weekend and a minor league baseball game he also got tickets to that all the boys are going to on the 23rd.. (boy does this kid knows how to stretch out his birthday or what!)

anyway it's been a fun couple of days..

7 years ago todayit's amazing, I looked at the Calendar and realized that 7 years ago today I gave birth to a baby boy. In so many ways he's invisible.. in others he's ever present in scrapbooks and pictures hanging next to the alive kids in my living room... in years past i would anticipate this day fearing my grief would override my day... when i taught pre-school I'd ask for the weeks of his Birth and death off, just to be sure i wouldn't fall apart in front of poor 3 & 4 year old who wouldn't understand.. heck i didn't even understand.. Now I'm not fearing falling apart and today i can look upon the whole thing and even smile.. remembering like it was yesterday the doctor during one of my thousands of stress tests "Your having a baby today"... and the chaos that ensued trying to get mother in law's picked up from the airport and baby sitter lined up for the 3 week early delivery... then the Surgical Nurse saying "you'll be chasing 3 boys around in no time".. that one rings a little...
Don't get me wrong i don't get it.. i don't understand why we had to go through 3 1/2 weeks of utter Hell but i guess I'm not as angry and i can see what we have learned through it all and are SILL learning from all of it.. I think I've stopped imagining what my life would be like today had Lane lived.. i mean i would have 3 boys running around everywhere but his future was such an unknown we probably wouldn't have KayLea here with us so it's not a future i can really picture now.. Sad in a way, but Necessary and great that we have "moved on"... i hate that saying.."moved on".. but there really isn't anything else to describe it.. there are days i want to shout I HAD 4 BABIES!! and there are days where it's OK that people don't know...

Hunter's birthday's (3 days after Lane's... this Friday) have vastly improved in the last few years.. the first few years after Lane were awful birthdays.. thankfully he was little and hopefully doesn't remember the birthday cake that took me the better part of a day to make (when it really only should have taken me an hour or so) that spilled onto the counter face down (because i accidentally dropped it moving it to the table) that i just sobbed over.. the birthday's that i just had such a hard time pulling it together for him... This year my big boy turning 9 is excited about his "big boy" birthday that he has actually chosen the vast majority of his presents.. and a gift card is what he's most excited about to get to choose himself...

I gave a talk in Relief Society about our experiences with Lane a few months ago and the thing i came up with was Lane and all we learned etc.. has changed the DNA of our family.. my kiddo's know that babies die, they asked the question at age 4 and 6 "will this baby die?" when they were eagerly awaiting KayLea's birth.. But they also have had to come to try to understand at a very early age the plan Heavenly Father has for us.. I'm sure they don't get it fully (not sure I did before Lane).. But i guess that's something to be thankful for...

I am happy.. I am so thankful for my family warts and all.. If i try to picture what life would be like had things worked out differently i picture a life far different from the one i live today so as for today i choose not to think about that.. call it denial call it a coping technique.. but for today i choose to live in the present and be thankful for my experiences because they are what make the DNA of me and my family...
if you've made it this far thanks for sticking with the ramble...

(the above painting is an origional by My Mom Cathy Lane in 2004 of all 4 of my babies, as babies.. from top going clockwise, Bradley, Hunter, Lane and KayLea)

Baseball has begun..

Believe it or not ALL 3 kids are playing baseball this season.. YES little KayLea is old enough to play T-Ball and although she wasn't sure about it all she shined today in her first game. She was so excited We found her a bright pink glove; a month or so ago we found a pink glove and then Brad said "hey it has an on/off button" we discovered it was complete with lights.. we passed on it (with KayLea in tears leaving the store) knowing KayLea would be paying way too much attention to her "light up glove" rather than the game.. so She was delighted when we found a Pink glove minus the lights. KayLea's team is the "Mini Pines" all the T-Ball teams are tree names.. very cute! She is very into it which is good because i was worried she wouldn't want to run but she even has stopped covering her face when she sees a ball coming her way.. remember baby steps!

The Boys are just as excited.. and Thankfully they are on the same team.. we had asked if this was possiable (technically Hunter misses the deadline by a few days but they over looked it since he was going up rather than down)... this will be so awesome that we only have to cart to two different teams rather than 3!

Bradley our lefty, has a great swing in him and is getting better at Catching... once he hits it you'd better watch out because he's pretty fast...

Hunter is excited to work on his running and is begging for a stop watch so he can run around the house and better his time.. He also has a great swing and although he doesn't really like running is learning that it's a necessary evil!..

Well this is our life for the next couple of months of saturday's (and tuesday nights for the boys)... i think KayLea only has 6 games but the boys have 8 and then play offs.. Oh YEA and the boys won their first game by a pretty great margin... KayLea's game they don't keep score and there isn't any outs or strikes (it really is great entertainment watching her team)..

(You can click on any picture to see a larger image)...

Too Much partying i guess!!

Well we are home no worse for wear and we had so much fun in texas!!! We got to see so many old friends.. the kids kept asking "did we know them?" the boys loved being able to play outside nonstop and i think KayLea is a little smitten with Chapman and Remington (the boys of the family we stayed with)... only downfall WE ALL ARE EXHAUSTED.. we had so much fun no one got to sleep at anykind of decent hour... on the way home our travel plan kind of went to the dogs but every flight all 3 kids slept pretty much the whole way.. we got pulled from a flight (remember we fly standby) and the kids were miserable during our 3 hour layover then we when we got on the flight to take us home we almost got pulled off another flight on our last leg but a WONDERFUL woman offered to get off (another non-rev passenger) what a blessing that was!!! anyway our last little flight the kids were out cold and Hunter (who has been battling a stomach bug for the last few days) woke up from a deep sleep and threw up.. fun times... i think our pictures will be up in every airplane cabin to beware of us!!! anyway no matter the aweful trip home i'm so glad we went.. we have been saying we'd come back to Arlington for the almost 3 years we've been gone and we'll have to do it more often!!!

We had such a great time at Clark and Elizabeth's house the kids had a blast playing in the big playroom and in the yard.. i think we forgot how early it gets warm in Texas.. we had to go out and buy the boys sandels.. Clark has been working so hard on the yard they brought in a ton of dirt to fill in their pool.. the kids decided to dig this huge hole.. (luckely their boys started it haha)

This is Trevor Storms with the kids.. we met him and his grandma (Renae-my friend) for breakfast Saturday morning.

Sunday after church we took the kids to Fort Worth Botanical Gardens the boys were very skeptical about visiting a "garden" but they had a blast.. they loved "getting lost" in the walking trails and looking for frogs, fish and lizzards in the ponds.. KayLea loved loved seeing the brides getting their pictures taken... it was a perfect end to our trip!! (the kids you don't know are: Remington is in the orange shorts, Chapman in Red T-shirt and little Clair is in the sweet dress and the pink cast [no we didn't break her arm her Mom and Aunt did haha])