So its better than I thought

So the make up homework isn't as bad as I had invisioned.. and Hunter has already made up his missed spelling test and all of his friends have told him the field trip was kind of boring so unless he's trying to make me feel guilty he is pretty much over missing it.. Brad just has to stay after school thursday to make up a Matt quiz and a science lab and then we are home free (fingers crossed!)
I think everyone's sleeping patterns are pretty much back to normal (except KayLea is still asleep at 8:30am but she does that on occassion right!.. and i won't let her go to noon again EVER!)
We are back in full force of baseball.. last night Hunter had a game, tonight Brad then we have practice on thursday... but tonight Ben has baseball duty as i have cub scout duty...
so thats the long and short of it.. don't know if we are going to make it to the Library today if so i'll post some pic's..

ta ta

paying the piper!

Ok so we didn't get home until 1:45am this morning.. we immediately headed to bed which meant everyone was sawing logs around 2:15-2:30am.. i decided, i thought very brilliantly, that i would let the kids sleep until they woke up.. we had fairly tight schedules all week and since today was a school holiday anyway they should catch up on all the sleep they had been deprived of and just sleep.. Brad woke up around 8am.. Hunter woke up around 11:30 and KayLea held out until 12:45... well I'm paying the piper now.. it's 9:15 PM (their bedtime is a very strict 8pm) and she is saying she isn't tired.. Hunter and Brad both have school tomorrow and it's just been the past few minutes i haven't heard them bickering or laughing so URGGG!!! i have a feeling tomorrow morning isn't going to be much fun and we'll be rushing to catch the bus!!! I just gave in and feel like the horrible mom KayLea asked if she could play her game boy in bed.. i caved.. I'm exhausted... just in.. boys not asleep.. they are arguing why does KayLea get to play game boy and not them.. I'm a glutton for punishment.. to top it off I'm terrified of what tomorrow's make up homework brings...

I'll report back tomorrow

were home!

We are back no worse for ware although we didn't get in last night until 12:55pm and then of coarse we had to get home meaning we didn't get to bed until after 2am... we actually missed Ben he had already left for work.. so it's almost 10:30 am and only Brad is up (which is good the quiet means i can sit and do this!)... we had a GREAT time seeing everyone and i'll post pictures on wednesday when i can do it with high speed.. although Hunter decided he would be the cell phone photographer so i might try to post some later when i can e-mail them (we have No cell service at home)...
anyway i came home to a WONDERFLY clean house with CLEAN carpets.. i have an amazing husband!!!
ta ta

2nd full day in Utah

well we spent the whole day in Provo today, KayLea and i went with Grandma Cathy to fit Ashley's dress, she will look amazing today... i'm fearful posting pic's afraid Ashley will be mad but who's going to see this before tomorrow?? so if the'll load i'll post them...

we also took Ashley to get a pedicure it was fun, Stephanie, Michelle me and Ashley and KayLea all went it was fun to relax and have some one rub, clean and make my toes look pretty.. the little girls got nail polish put on their fingernails.. KayLea was so excited for this, she sat so nice and still and didn't even mess them up before we left the shop..

we ended the day with a family dinner that Andrew's family hosted.. it was nice to finally meet him and see how Happy Ashley is they are very well suited for one another

and Last but not least the boys have been bugging me the whole time we've been here to get a good picture of the mountains... I think Brad realized for the first time that our little Mt. Sunapee is actually more like a hill than an actual mountain... Ben and i grew up with the Mountains as a distant landscape so i don't think it ever occured to us that someone would think our little po-dink mountain was the be-all end all.. these here are sure pretty... everyone send sunny thoughts.. it's suppose to rain all day tomorrow...

Meeting Baby Will

Well, the kids got to meet Will today for the first time poor little boy got a little overwhelmed but seemed like he got to like Hunter KayLea and Brad... he's sure a cute boy!

above: Hunter, KayLea and Will getting to know eachother.. Below.. Will helping daddy roll up the air mattress Grandpa Jack slept on last night

Fishing Derby

one town over; Bradford had a fishing derby last weekend.. we woke up early got eaten by every bug known to man and caught our limit.. we didn't win any prizes but it was a fun time.. they had the NH fish and game stock about 200 fish and there were prizes for first fish, first 3 fish's and largest fish (they knew they stocked a 16 inch trout).. we stayed until a little girl caught the 16 incher and then we had enough fish and untangling lines (because so many kids were fishing in such a small area there was ALLOT of that!

Here's the kids fishing away.. KayLea was a little cold

Brad fishing and Ben untangeling another line...

Ben and KayLea taking a little juice box break... KayLea decided she was done after catching one fish...
all 3 with their bounty...

catching up on pictures

So we are here in Salt Lake no worse for ware, we ended up leaving last night and coming all the way to Salt Lake rather than spending the night in chicago... so i'm enjoying the high speed wireless internet.. so i'm going to load some pic's of Hunter's Birthday and his friend party... happy belated 10th Birthday Hunter!!! So here's Hunter at our Family celebration.. he requested Cheese Cake.. pretty much all of us request cheese cake for birthday cakes these days so i have pretty much mastered the recipe.. i probably should post that sometime later but it's the recipe that has sour cream along with cream cheese yummy and of coarsae gram cracker crust.. i have to admit reluctantly i do love the homemade crust better than the store baught and even though Ben says i cheat buying the already crummed cracker crumbs it's still yummy

This was Hunter's brain child.. anyone who knows me knows that i love cheese cake but i LOVE it un-topped.. i will gladly provide any topping anyone wants to put on AFTER it is cut but i refuse to spoil the whole thing Hunter requested chocolate and peanut butter topping... so i whipped up some peanut butter sauce from peanut butter chips and some butter and oil... it turned out very tasty but i must not have added enough fat because it hardened pretty much right away.. the chocolate was milk chocolate chips with a little butter and oil.. that stayed saus-ie much longer but i assume the milk chocolate had allot more fat already.. it was yummy and Hunter has declared this his favorite birthday cake...
For Hunter's friend party he wanted a brownie cake.. i compromised and did a brownie and put the same peanut butter and chocolate sauce all over it then we had brownie sundae's they were a hit!

the main event (event even though it was un intended..) fishing in the creek!

off off and away!!!

So i've got a million things to do today we are heading off to Salt Lake tonight rather than tomorrow morning.. Flights out of Manchester are CRAZY!!! you'd think Elvis lived here or something and it doesn't seem to matter that there is no snow and its still a little cold for the water (the lake was FILLED last weekend with canoo's and Kayak's) So i'm at a loss as to what to pack for Utah.. is it still cold?? I just looked on Weather.com and it's going to be in the 90's today but it's going to be rainy the rest of the weekend URGGG! but still in the 60's-70's so lots of layers i guess.. i'm trying to pack light as to not scare Jody who's picking us up tonight.. we are invading his apartment tonight (sorry Michelle!) and then i can pick up my car and we can get into the Hotel tomorrow...
so trying to get eveyone packed
i did all the running around yesterday but i forgot hydrocortizone (spelling sucks i know!) because we ALL have tons of black fly bites that itch like CRAZY! another thing to check off for Baseball SUCKS!!!
ok enough of my ranting i'm sure i'll post a little along the way..
ta ta for now!

KayLea Fishing

So i'm WAY behind in posting pictures and i'm not too sure it's going to get any better.. today i'll post pictures of Ben taking KayLea fishing it was a Daddy Daughter outing and she was thrilled she didn't have to share Daddy with the boys!!! she only lasted about a half an hour and she caught 3 and even landed one on her own..

We celebrated Hunter's Birthday friday evening, he got to have 5 friends over, they fished in the creek (the un-expected highlight of the afternoon!) ate pizza then they were suppose to watch at least the first indiana Jones movie but they all lost interest after the first 10 minutes.. they ended up just playing 0utside and playing the air hockey upstairs.. One of the boys got to spend the night (mostly because he's from the ward and he lived too far to make 2 trips with in a few hours) it was a good 10th birthday for Hunter.. he had fun.. and we and the house are no worse for the ware i forgot to take some pic's with my phone so those will have to wait until i can get to high speed internet (maybe the hotel in Salt Lake will have high speed wireless hua!)

anyway thats it for now.. we are getting excited for going .. we actually have to leave tuesday night and spend the night in Chicago so we can make it to Salt lake on Wednesday...

i'm sure i'll post on the road as Ben has agreed to part with his Laptop for us to take...

ta ta for now!

i'm late.. but we've had a NEW ARRIVAL in the family

On Friday evening... Jack and Sarah had Jack W. Lane the 4th (guess i'll have to look up the roman numeral for 4) he weighed in at 7 lbs 14 oz. and 20 inches long... i'd post a pic of this new nephew if SOMEONE WOULD SEND ME ONE for you can see him on the news.. thats right just a few days old and the kid already made the news haha.. his brilliant momma is a reporter for their local news station and they did a little blurb on the birth it shows Jack, Sarah and little peanut Jackie very cute!!!

Congrads Jack and Sarah... he's a cutie (what i could see of him.. hint hint send some pic's!)
ta ta

BASEBALL SUCKS!!! beware this is a RANT

So Baseball has started to consume every waking minute of our lives.. Monday and Wednesday's Brad has games, when they are on our home field it doesn't seem to be a big deal but last night was our first "away" game and since we live pretty much in the middle of no where, pretty much ANY "away" game is like forever.. (ok i'm stretching the truth slightly) so we are racing the kids are bickering in the back seat i get to the end of my roap and insist that Hunter get out of my car and go back inside (obviously we hadn't left yet) he wasn't going to the game he's crying i'm not showing the best side of mother hood, i go in to tell Ben Hunter's not going and he's in trouble to no video games, i go back out to the car to find KayLea balling.. she now says if Hunter doesn't go no one will be able to take her to the playground (an aside.. we don't even know at this point if there IS a playground at this field) it's a mess and at that point i nearly threw my hands in the air and said NO BASEBALL FOR THE FOX'S.. but no no we made a commitment so Ben convenced me to give Hunter another chance.. (he by the way had to leave for work earlier than he usually does so thats why he wasn't coming he had to get at least a few hours of sleep)... and Hunter ended up being a good help taking KayLea to the playground (guess her tears were warrented).. so if this is what the next month is going to be like I"M NOT HAPPY!!!... Hunter has a game tonight along with a parent teacher conf.. no not everyone is getting a conference only those who need it urggg!!! these things always end up with me feeling like the worst parent in the world.. (not purposly, i like hunter's teacher) why is it that my worth as a mother is somehow tied into how well my kids do in school when actually it really has very little to do with me!!! We are deffenately at some kind of crossroads with Hunter and school.. if he doesn't do well his Teacher hates him.. His attitude fluxuates from good to poor in a matter of moments.. and he totally knows how to play me like a violin... He is sweet and tender and i can usually tell when he's had a bad day he'll want a hug (that usually turns in to sort of a cuddle) but he doesn't want to ask straight out for it because that will be uncool... he needs more sleep than the average bear and with baseball it doesn't always happen for him... (see all things aweful go back to baseball!) i think we will REALLY re-think baseball next year.. i always wanted my kids to be involved in things more than i was (we pretty much did nothing) but i'm beginning to see the brilliance in being homebodies.. somehow i need to strike a balance and i havn't found it yet..
ok so i'm done with my ranting.. sorry!
ta ta

8 years ago

just a for-warning, although i'm trying hard to stay positative it i never really know how the words will come out on the screen so continue at your own risk.. don't feel obligated to read on REALLY!!! Well, another year has passed.. 8 years ago today i had a little boy... I really don't want to be redundant and re-do last years post but these momentus years kind of get to me a little harder than the others last one that got to me was 5, the year he'd have started school.... this year i would have been planning another baptism.. letting him pick who would speak.. getting family into town... i'm sure do more sight seeing etc.. i find my self wondering what his personality would have been like.. what would have the dinamic of 3 boys been like.. then i do think would KayLea even be here had he lived?? and i already know the answer to that probably not! and i cant imagine a life with out her so do I have a right to complain??... probably not...Last Night Hunter had a melt down in the car.. he found out yesterday that he'll be missing a field trip while we are in Utah.. it's actually kind of a boring one anyway but he of coarse kept saying over and over "it's not fair"... thats kind of how i feel today.. it's not fair!!! I have an amazing life.. i really have NOTHING to complain about.. I have learned so much, and still continue to from the experience of having and loosing Lane that i feel almost guilty even harboring even the slightest bit of hard feelings towards that experience but i DO! i guess that means i'm human.. and it means i'm a Mom.. Sometimes it almost feels like it wasn't real.. then i make myself look at his book I see the lock of hair or i just gaze at the plaster hand and foot print we have displayed on our bookcase.. sometimes it feels like proof and other times its somehow some one elses' story.. how could have we gone through all that and still be standing.. let alone be happy! the 20 days he was alive when we were going through it felt like years now it seems like barly a blip.. it now feels like it was 20 years ago somehow in a different life.. but it wasn't it was this life!!! This is what i know for sure... I know we are an Eternal Family... I know He is our prize at the end of this life.. getting to be able to know and raise him as if no time had passed.. i'm not all together sure what that will look like i just KNOW it to be true.. I know he is not in need of the Baptism that I am dreaming about he died PERFECT.. with out sin, which is why he got the E-Ticket straight to our Father in Heavens arms!!! that does give me allot of comfort.. i also know i'm going to be ok.. i have to let myself have these sad days i have to feel these feelings or else i'll burst and that just wouldn't be fair (or pretty!) to my family... i know i LOVE my family ALL of them.. with out them i would truley wollow in self pitty and anger.. Brad, Hunter and KayLea along with Ben of coarse, give me Joy and although some tears are flowing now Lane also gives me joy... enough ranting i'll be ok really!!!
thanks for sticking with this so far if you made it your sure are a trooper!
ta ta

the boys fishing picture

so we'll test this to see if this works.. Ben took a pic with his phone and then e-mailed it to me lets see if this is easier than my too big pic's with my camera.. if so it may be my new way to post on the blog.. Looks like this might be the ticket!!! enjoy the pic a good bit of these were caught in our backyard then the rest were at the river in the next town.. i'm so excited this worked!!!

ta ta for now

ok I'm sick of COLD!

So i thought if the white stuff would just go away i'd be happy and then the white stuff went away not only did it go away it got WARM!!! we even had the windows up all night for almost a week! then... it's cold again.. not just chilly it's been in the mid 30-40's we've had to make fires (which reminds me, i need to get more wood today) during the day and (tears are forming!) turn BACK on the heat at night!!! EEEEEKKKKK!!!!!! this silly weather.. we've had some rain but not enough to wreck havoc on the roads (thank goodness!) we desperately need the rain so i'm not complaining but it would be MUCH better if i just had to bring an umbrella to Baseball games and not my big winter parka!!! i know we will probably be wishing for this weather when it gets hot but frankley i've never complained over the "heat" here i put it in quotes because people here don't know what hot is.. it's never gotten above mid 90's and the humidity is way managable.. i realize we've ALL become whimp when Ben took a trip to Dallas and came home and said he roasted the whole time!
so this just goes to show we are never happy about the weather.. i should be thankful we have heat...
thats just my rant today!!!
only 15 days until we leave for Utah... we are getting excited!
ta ta for now!

fishers of FISH

well i have to say my only worry about moving into this house was that the boys would feel slided somehow because even though we have more than triple the amount of land that we moved away from the groomed sledding hill that if the snow was lacking the resort next door would make the snow for us.. well this week has proved that my boys are going to be JUST FINE... Hunter and Bradley have caught collectively over 25 fish in the last few days.. they have released most of them (we still abide by the limit laws) but we now have 3 fish waiting in the freezer for them to catch a few more.. they are brook trout and average 7-8 inches long although Hunter caught one today that was closer to 10 inches I think more than anything Ben's dream has been realized and he can fish out his back door!
This is also something VERY hopeful for me that the boys (and they let KayLea tag along sometime) can keep them selves occupied and hopefully that will cut down on the "i'm board" comments come summer time (or at least we can only hope!)
i'll post some pic's on wednesday. hopefully
ta ta

short bit about my day

a really great woman from our ward Rachel Collins passed away Sunday evening... she had been batteling stage 4 melanoma for about 18 months when last week she had to be taken to the ER because it was believed she might have had a stroke.. no one expected her to "go" so soon.. her funeral was today... this girl had an extrodinary life growing up in Utah a non member.. she felt some resentment towards the church because she hadn't been treated the way she should have.. she felt like an outsider her whole growing up.. her mother in law joined the church shortly after she came to live with Rachel and her Husband but Rachel was still too bitter to even hear anything about the church.. when the whole family moved to New Hampshire almost 2 1/2 years ago Rachel started attending church so her daughter would at least learn of God and Jesus, slowly Rachel began to heal her hard feelings and she took the lessons and joined the church almost a year ago.. she is younger than i am by a tad bit and so it makes me wonder why and how unfair life can be she leaves 2 young daughters (ages 15 and 7) but i do know for sure that she is in a better place laughing and dancing and free from pain... it will take me a bit to wrap my mind around this but i will.. more lessons to learn i guess..
ta ta for now